Being a dad or mom is no easy task. It may sound like something that "anyone with a lick of sense" could do well, but not so. To the casual observer, it may look like being a parent is a real piece of cake, but again, that is just not true. There are challenges of every sort that parents must face. When the first child is born into a family, presto, the child’s parents are immediately faced with brand new never-done-this-kind-of-thing-before responsibilities. The world of that child’s dad and mom just took a new twist, and regardless of whether they have additional children or stop after having only one, their world will never be the same again.

This being a parent stuff is serious business. I mean, there are so many things which parents must consider. There are the child’s food needs, medical needs, clothing needs, educational needs, recreational needs, spiritual training, and so much more. And, as many of us know from first-hand experience, many of the items and services that children require cost money, a lot of money.

Christian parents recognize that all good and perfect gifts, including their kids, come from our heavenly Father (James 1:17). Christian parents thank God for their children, each one of them, realizing that "children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward" (Psalm 127:3).

Parents, are there some things that you want your children to do? Are there some things that you want them to enjoy? Guess what: in many cases, it is up to you to guide them and lead them in those paths that you desire for them. I am not talking about the kind of occupation that you have dreamed for them, but rather the spiritual, family, and social aspects of their lives.

Parents, if you want your kids to be respectful to other kids, and especially to adults, then it’s up to you to see to it that they receive the proper training. That means, of course, that you yourselves need to be a good example for them (1 Timothy 4:12) by showing respect to others, even those whom you do not particularly like. Second, you need to tell your kids that showing respect for others is expected in every setting by both you and the Lord, no exceptions. In the old law God told His people, "Thou shalt rise up before the hoary head [‘the gray headed,’ NKJV], and honour the face of the old man, and fear thy God: I am the LORD" (Leviticus 19:32). Proper fear or reverence for Jehovah involves showing proper respect to others, particularly those that are older than us.

Parents, if you want your kids to run around with "the right kind of kids," then it’s up to you to keep tabs on their associations. No part of the U.S. Constitution or Bill of Rights entitles your kids the right to sneak around and hang out with immoral, ungodly people. If your kids are not wise enough to draw the line in some relationships, then, parents, it’s up to you to step in, "lay down the law," and help your kids see the truth of 1 Corinthians 15:33 ["Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits,’" NKJV].

Parents, do you want your kids to know the Bible well? [I’m thinking here that no Christian parent is going to come right out and tell a gospel preacher, "No, I do not want my kids knowing the Bible well."] If so, that is, if you do want them to be well grounded in the truth, then it’s up to you! "But I thought that is what our Sunday and mid-week Bible classes are for, to teach our children the Bible." Most congregations do have separate classes for kids in which faithful brothers or sisters instruct them in the ways of the Lord, and for those classes and teachers, we owe a great debt and have a deep sense of gratitude. Faithful Bible class teachers are a wonderful blessing in the lives of those whom they teach. But folks, you can do the math just as easily as I can. If your kids attend Bible classes on both Sunday and during mid-week, then they might get a total of 80 minutes time in those two classes combined. That is one hour and twenty minutes, right? How much time do they spend in school? Several hours each day that school is in session. And, how much time do you have them away from the public worship and Bible classes of the church? A bunch. In fact, like their parents, if kids attend every weekly class and worship service, then each week they spend a whopping four hours (approximately) in those activities and 164 hours doing something else!

Public Bible classes that the church provides can be very beneficial to your children’s spiritual training. But let’s not kid ourselves. A child’s main Bible teachers need to be his/her dad and mom! If your kids are lacking in Bible knowledge, then look no further for the culprit: dads and moms are at fault when their kids do not know the word of God well. God charged the children of Israel, "And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up" (Deuteronomy 6:6,7). That kinda sounds like God wanted dads and moms to put in some time and effort training their younguns, don’t you think? The New Testament plainly says that fathers are to bring their children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Dads, if you are too busy to provide spiritual training for your kids, then you are too busy!

Dads and moms, do you want your kids to have a chance to go out and have fun with other young Christians [or young kids whose parents are Christians] or just spend time hanging out with other young disciples of Jesus? If so, then it’s up to you to arrange it, pay for it, and carry it out. It is not the work of the church to arrange fun activities for your kids, or to pay for your kids’ entertainment. That is the work of the home, not the church. The New Testament does not authorize the church to finance such activities, and it is not the role of elders, deacons, preachers, or any other "church people" to plan and carry out fun stuff for your kids. That, dads and moms, is your job.

It is no secret that some families decide where they are going to attend services by looking at how much entertainment, fun and games a congregation provides for its youth. Did it ever occur to folks that they might want to check in the New Testament and see if the church is authorized to be an entertainment-provider?! Some churches seem to count it as part of their "youth minister’s" job to plan fun outings for the young people of the congregation, arrange birthday parties, and drive the kids in a van to an amusement park. Not so, parents. Dads and moms, it is your responsibility to provide entertainment and fun activities for your kids, and if you want to include other kids in your plans, then go for it, but do so through them and their parents, not through the elders or youth preacher. [I find it somewhat curious why churches want a young Christian man, sometimes no more than a boy himself, to work with their youth, seeing that, let’s face it, our kids need guidance from mature, experienced people.]

Parents, do you want your kids to be involved in the work of the church? If so, then you guessed it, it’s up to you to get ‘em working. Begin by being heavily involved yourselves. Then, move on to making arrangements for you and your kids to do things together – things like visiting widows and serving them in some way, distributing Bible literature or sermon tapes, going to encourage new Christians or those members that have recently lost a loved one, helping do some cleanup around the church building – I am sure you can come up with a long list of helpful things that someone needs to do. Again, parents, if you want your kids to be active in the church, then you need to take the lead. The time will come in their lives that they will decide for themselves what they will and will not do. As long as they live under your roof, though, you can assist them to get into the habit of working for the Master.

No, it is not easy to be a good parent. It is not tough at all to be a sorry parent, but being a good one – now that takes some special effort. No one can force you into taking your parental responsibilities seriously and personally. Like I’ve been saying over and over, " It’s up to you." May God bless you as rely on Him and do your best to mold those precious little ones that God has placed in your lives into law-abiding citizens, good neighbors, dependable workers, trustworthy friends, and devoted, God-honoring members of the precious church of the Christ. Parents, we are not against you. God forbid. We want to help you in every way that we can. But, and here I go again, in so many aspects of life, if you want your kids getting and staying on the right track, "Parents, it’s up to you!"

-- Roger D. Campbell